Het jaar zit er weer op en dan wordt het eens tijd om terug te blikken op wat er afgelopen jaar zoal gezegd is. Hieronder alvast het politieke luik, met een hoofdrol voor Republikeins presidentskandidaat Herman Cain.
“To be clear. I believe in evolution and trust scientists on global warming. Call me crazy.”
(Eigenlijk dateert deze nog van 2011. Voor wie er op dat moment nog aan twijfelde: ex-gouverneur Jon Huntsman was kansloos in de strijd om de Republikeinse nominatie eerder dit jaar.)
“And if we don’t move forward, adapt, and become relevant again, the Republican Party isn’t going to survive. It will just continue to alienate more moderate voters like myself. If I don’t see some changes in the next four years, I’m going to consider registering as an Independent in 2016.”
(Meghan McCain, dochter van, heeft een goede raad voor de GOP.)
Herman Cain
“Engage the people. Don’t try to pass a 2,700 page bill — and even they didn’t read it! You and I didn’t have time to read it. We’re too busy trying to live — send our kids to school. That’s why I am only going to allow small bills — three pages. You’ll have time to read that one over the dinner table.”
(Herman Cain legt zijn beleidsprioriteiten op tafel met deze licht verontrustende campagnebelofte.)
“I’m ready for the ‘gotcha’ questions and they’re already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, you know, I don’t know. Do you know? And then I’m going to say how’s that going to create one job?”
(Herman Cain is goed voorbereid op de moeilijke vragen. Nu ja, goed.)
“OK, Libya. President Obama supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Qadhafi. Just want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, ‘yes I agree,’ or ‘no I didn’t agree.’ I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason – nope, that’s a different one. I gotta go back to, see … Got all this stuff twirling around in my head. Specifically, what are you asking me, did I agree or not disagree with Obama on?”
(Herman Cain ziet even sterretjes wanneer het over buitenlands beleid gaat.)
“For the record, I don’t think Herman Cain is stupid. I do think he’s willfully ignorant about anything to do with foreign policy however.”
(Daniel Drezner breekt een lans voor Herman Cain)
“Mitt Romney is one of the most progressive thinkers of 1950.”
(Sarah Silverman is onder de indruk van Mitt Romney’s debatcapaciteiten.)
“I highly approve of Romney’s decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.”
(Schrijfster en commentator Ann Coulter is ook onder de indruk en heeft dan toch iets positiefs te zeggen over Mitt Romney – de manier waarop hij met president Obama omging tijdens een tv-debat. Classy as ever, Ann.)
“What does it say about the college co-ed Susan Fluke [sic] who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex — what does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex.”
(Talk Radio host Rush Limbaugh vindt niet dat de overheid anticonceptiva moet terugbetalen. Sandra Fluke, die voor het Congres was komen getuigen over de kwestie, promootte volgens hem enkel “casual sex” op kosten van de belastingbetaler – “or the pope”.)
Jill Biden
“So this election is personal to me. And it’s deeply personal to the man I’m about to introduce. I’ve seen Joe up close. It’s in my remarks, really. Okay. I’ve seen how his optimism, his determination, his big, strong heart, drives him to make a different everyday…I’ve heard the urgency in his voice when he comes and talks about the people that he’s met.”
(Second Lady Jill Biden kondigt haar man aan tijdens de campagne maar verliest daarbij de greep over haar discours. Als ze de woorden “big, strong” dan nog eens van een suggestief lengtegebaar voorziet, valt de sexual innuendo niet meer in te perken.)
“I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you.”
(Haar echtgenoot en vicepresident Joe Biden kan er ook wat van. A match made in heaven.)
Oh My God, Like, Totally 